| HM. |
[ | | [ 4/28/05 - 12:02 pm ] |
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mood |
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 indescribable |
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You ever notice that just when the shit hits the fan, most of the people you THOUGHT you could lean on suddenly just disappear? The people who say, oh, you're one of my best friends, oh, you're so close to me... bull fucking shit, you haven't been the least fucking bit supportive. In fact you've grown DISTANT. Or when I bother to say anything they just go silent or wtfever, or go fucking invisible. Well fucking done, you assmunching fucktards. Well fucking done. If you know me so goddamn well you'd think you'd bother when you find out something is wrong because the past fucking three days I have NOT been myself. If you fucking bothered to take an interest anymore then that would be evident. I don't fucking crave attention, I just wish those that claim they're so incredibly close to me, bothered to fucking try instead of just ignoring me and then leaving something somwhere you know I'm bound to see it. That just fucking hurts. And I'm sick of this shit of finding out who my real friends really are. Sarah, Josh, Minnie, Dawne, Eric and Liam, and a few other people, they've fucking been supportive in so many ways you couldn't imagine. I can't really talk to Ben since hey, half the time he's the SOURCE of the pain whether he knows it or not, but at least I know I still have a few people to lean back on.
So just fuck you, if you're so goddamn good off and can bother to ignore and then blatantly backstab someone who is apparently one of your best friends. Fuck you and the horse you rode in on, and I hope you have a nice fucking life, you bitchy asswhoring cunt.
And this isn't to anyone in particular, just to several people who've recently showed their true colors.
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[ | | [ 4/22/05 - 3:09 am ] |
| [ |
mood |
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 envious |
] |
It fucking sucks to only be half of who you are and supress the rest because you know that if you're yourself, every good thing in your life will suddenly cease to be good.. and you'll be back where you left off. It sucks even more when you're surrounded by people who are being who they want to be... surrounded by people who are being themselves without restraint.
I hate life. e.e
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| Of pixels and HTML. |
[ | | [ 4/16/05 - 12:39 am ] |
| [ |
mood |
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 artistic |
] |
| [ |
music |
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You Can't Hurry Love // Phil Collins |
] |
Whoa. So, uh.
I got one layout done today and earlier I was hit with two more, one of which is bound to be a bit hard, but hey, it's preventing me from being bored and it makes me happy to know, yay, man, I like... have something to do!
Plus, I made a journal entry asking for lineart because I can't do lineart for shit, and I've got like three offers. ^^! I'm so happy. XD My poor DA is being uploaded to a lot. First time I've actually USED the account constantly.
Otherwise I've been raking the yard and fighting off a cold.
FUN STUFF MAN.
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| And Ki said let there be chicken, and behold, there was pie. |
[ | | [ 4/15/05 - 3:54 am ] |
| [ |
mood |
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 awake |
] |
| [ |
music |
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La de daaa. |
] |
Not much has happened. Got sick, got better. I saw one or two mosquitos and now I'm randomly thinking I'm being bit, leading to me swatting at myself randomly. Gets annoying after awhile.
Had Xilin call me. She's scary. I was hysterical at one point and we kept insulting eachother. Typical day in the neighborhood. My ear is numb.
Starting to do website commissions so first thing tomorrow I need to restart so I can work on this chick's commission. I'm such a good smaritian thing... person.
Ben is <3.
Take care, Mandy.
And have fun, Rozi.
And thanks again, Sammy.
Goodnight, moon. :>
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| Dear Victor, |
[ | | [ 4/11/05 - 3:44 am ] |
| [ |
mood |
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disappointed |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Hero // Enrique Iglesias |
] |
It seems I just wasted an hour of my time trying to get through to a rock. At the start of the conversation all I had wanted was an answer from you on several things. One of the things I wanted answered was why you seemed to never consider mine or Khitan's point of view. I felt comfortable in knowing nothing crap would come out of it, but it soon extended into something I hadn't really expected. Time went on and you seemed to grasp what I was saying but failed to execute it into your brain in a way that would allow you to see things from my own perspective. On and on we went in circles with you conveniently repeating yourself, causing me to, in a way that tells me that you fail to consider maybe what you think isn't always right. You continued to assume I was argumentative and implied that I mean to insult people when many a time I stated that speaking my mind and voicing my opinion to people who irritate me is not, in fact, attacking, but it depends on the person as to whether or not they see it as such. I expect people to take what I say in their own way and to act accordingly, as I don't control people. If I did I'd do my best to erase the years of living in a society that has long festered in the notion that bottling things up is the right thing to do.
Being a person who hates to exercise futility, I left. Everything you said only reflected the inane idea that I myself was in fact wrong, or at least that you were without any shadow of a doubt, right. As we went over it depends on an individual's perception of right and wrong. You were given the opportunity to prove that you are capable of doing anything other than focusing on what you think is right and while you're forcing your views on me without giving me air to express my own, you're labeling it as helpfulness. Forcing yourself on me is not helpfulness, and I find your extreme lack of consideration for the thoughts and views of others to be disturbing.
You constantly preach to myself and Sammy that because of who we are we will have bad luck in things when in fact, being eighteen yourself, you have yet to begin actually living. Knowing nothing about us, you make the assumption that how we act around you is how we are all the time. From where I'm standing that is insanely wrong of you. Whatever we may be, at least we accept that which is coming from other people instead of smothering it in our own ideals and feeding off the support of the mindless and equally smothering tadpoles that choose to look up to our illusion of magnificence. Due to all the evidence I think I can safely say that you are full of bullshit and need to take a lesson in social skills, because at the rate you're going, it's not mine or Sammy's life that will be hard. It'll be your own.
Signed,
The Deeply Disappointed, Treiss.
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treiss's journal